Sunday, April 22, 2012

Ally's 1st Birthday

I would rather skip this post altogether. I am in major denial that my baby girl is 1 year old. Why?? why does is go so dang fast!!! It's rough, I keep thinking "last year at this time, she was...." This year she just hears "NO NO" all day long, and I have a feeling it's going to be something she hears for many years to come. I was much more casual about her first birthday than I was about Ty's. Ben even asked 10 minutes before party time if I was going to put something besides a onesie on her. My answer, Nope, she is just going to eat her cake and get messy anyway. (I know you are thinking bad mom, but I think it was part of my denial) She didn't mind that she was only half dressed, she still had a great time. She was a little shy when it was time for her to eat her cake. She looked around like "I know if I touch that I will be in big trouble, somebody is gonna say "No No" any minute, I just know it." But it didn't take long for her to be all about it. When Ty turned 1, he dug into his cake but never ate a single crumb. He was, and still is, the pickiest eater ever. Ally on the other hand eats anything and everything. I was afraid that we would be up all night after all the cake she ate, but once she finally went to sleep she slept all night long. She must take after me, dessert always makes me sleep better too, ha ha. So because I just started this blog it only seems right that I should post a few pictures of Ally's first few days.

Ally Jennifer 
April 12, 2011

Why all the growing? I miss those first few weeks, so tiny and new. I am sure how I feel is nothing new. With Ty I was so nervous, wondering if I was doing the right things, looking so forward to every milestone, not realizing how fast everything was going. But with Ally, I was so much more relaxed. I enjoyed every minute, tried to soak it all up, to the point that its almost like those first few weeks were a dream. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't all roses. I was convinced that Ty would be so excited for his sister to finally be here that he wouldn't be jealous at all. But on our first night home I was nursing Ally in the middle of the night, and I heard Ty crying in his room, which wasn't at all uncommon. I went down the hall to comfort him with Ally in my arms. When I walked into his room, and he saw me holding her, when he was so obviously the one who needed me, his little heart broke. His middle of the night attention cry, turned into a honest and sincere hurt feeling cry, and he said to me, "I want my Grandma Jen". I know the reason he wanted her, because she had given him her undivided attention since the day he was born, which I had also done, but now I had betrayed him. His broken heart instantly made my heart break too. I told him I was still his Momma and I could take care of him, and he just kept asking for Grandma, over and over, not mad or screaming, just soft little sobs of a heart broken and betrayed little boy. The second he uttered those words I instantly started crying just as much as him.  Not because I was hurt he wanted my mom, because I felt like he thought I had replaced him.  I more or less tossed Ally at Ben and gathered my son in my arms and we rocked together and cried and cried until he fell back to sleep. And that was that. The next day we were good again, and he really has never showed any jealously toward her since. 

One day when Ally was about 6 months old, I fed her and put her in her crib for a nap.  I returned to the living room and sat down in the chair with Ty, he asked me "are you going to watch cartoons with me?" By now snuggle time between the two of us had become special, because it didn't happen as often as it once did.  I told him yes, I really wanted to snuggle with him and watch cartoons.  About two minutes later Ally started to cry.  I heard her but didn't move, I stayed in the chair not wanting to upset Ty and knowing that the only thing wrong with Ally was that she wasn't being held.  Ty looked over at me and said, "Momma my Sissy is sad, you need to go get her"  I told him she was ok that she could cry and he said "No, I don't want her to be so sad." I was shocked that he would give up his mom time for his sister, and he did it without hesitation.  What a selfless act from a 3 year old little boy, I was so proud.

I am not saying they don't have their moments.  She yells her little yell at him and I hear him say "Ally, No No, stop that!" Almost everyday. But he also kisses her everyday and they hug each other everyday. She looks for him every morning, and he delights in making her laugh. Sometimes when we are driving in the car I hear her giggling in her car seat, and Ty will tell me, "I am just telling her some jokes Momma." Other times I catch him frantically looking for her pacifier when she is crying or upset. They truly do love each other so much, I am amazed by them, they make my heart so happy. When I was pregnant with Ally I asked a friend, who's kids are grown, how to raise my kids so that they would be best friends. She of course told me to teach them to help each other and show respect to one another. I am not sure it's all up to me though, I am know a lot of it is up to them. Even though they only have one year down, I am so proud of both of them and the friendship they already have. I hope they never ever take it for granted. I know that sounds pretty cheesy when talking about two kids who are four and one, but it's true, and I will never be able to explain how much it means to me.

Enough rambling, Ally the stage is all yours.....  mostly

Notice the very sneaky finger stealing himself a bit of frosting.... 

Oh Ally girl, you are definitely our sunshine.  Not one of us could imagine our lives without you.  You are sweet and sassy.  You smile at me when I tell you No, and do it anyway. You are so dramatic when you get your feelings hurt, that we just can't help but laugh a little.  You ALWAYS have a smile for your Daddy, and trust me, it means the world to him.  You are fearless, and I just know that when you get big enough, you are so ditching me to hang out with your Dad and Brother.  As long as you are happy little girl then I will be happy to.  Thank you for all the smiles and love you have brought to our home. You will always be my baby girl, Happy Birthday.


Carole said...

Love hearing your stories!

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