Every last bit

When we went for our drive up the canyon a few weeks ago Ty asked if we could please stop and hike the Grotto again.  I told him that we didn't have enough time so naturally the next question was "Can we come hike it with Toby tomorrow?" And of course I was totally down with that, maybe Steph would squeal in delight at the autumn splendor with me since Ben wouldn't.  So it took a week to work it out but we finally made it.  And it was totally worth it. 

While hiking I came across these scary shadow monsters, eek!  But then they started giggling and I realized they weren't as much scary as just silly, and pretty cute too.  Yes Ally did come hiking, but she was in the backpack for most of it, so she was helping me take pictures.  She was thoroughly entertained by all of it.  I am so grateful to live in a place where we have four beautiful seasons to enjoy. And I am so grateful to have some really amazing friends.  I have a lot of them and they have been listening to me and helping me a whole lot lately.  I hope I can be there for all of you the way you are always there for me.  10 days until the hunt, hopefully all the freaking out will subside a bit when it's all over.  Hopefully.  Yes I am freaking out, yes my friends and family are all that's keeping me from ending up in the nut house.  Thanks friends and Mom, seriously, thank you.  For listening to me cry, for borrowing us your husband to get my gun sighted in and watching my kids.  For taking me away for the weekend so that I could have some fun and relax, and eat good food, and vent and then vent some more.  For taking off work and spending your vacation fund to camp for five days in the mountains on a hunt that's not even your own.  For calling to check on me and telling me that it's all OK.  For cooking, and packing, and babysitting and listening to me melt down.  For wanting to help and offering to do anything to make me feel better.  You have no idea how much all of you mean to me, I feel completely unworthy of such kindness.  I owe y'all big time, thank you so very much.  As for the title of this post, it was meant to mean that we are soaking in every last bit of Fall.  Then when I read it again before pushing the publish button, I realized that it also means every last bit of fear, anxiety, patience, acceptance, guilt, self control and basic sanity I feel like I have left.  I know that I am crazy for letting something so silly get me into such a tizzy, trust me I know, it's part of the problem, and I feel really stupid.  I knew that this hunt was going to have some major emotion attached to it.  But just like everything you never really know until you are there. And here I am. Wish me luck.